KenAllen Publicity & Bookings

Grocery store Publix closes at 9:00pm. Walmart at 11:00pm. Southwest Florida goes to sleep some time between the two. We’re “not in season” at the moment as summer approaches, so traffic is light but that rarely matters. There’s a magic on the roads of this state, and our northern neighbor as well, that no matter the number of lanes going in your direction, there will be a car in each of them going under the speed limit. And another group will pop up in front of you just far enough down the road to think you’ve gotten somewhere.

Out of season, the snowbirds are nest in their northern habitats for the summer. Air B&Bs sit vacant, though a small army of yard gnomes come along with truck and trailer, and a parade of mowers, weed-trimmers and air blowers pours out of the back transforming the lawns into a 1/2″ shorter version of their previous design. There’s no one here, but the trimming and weeding of life in Florida must go on to preserve paradise for ourselves and the visiting masses.

Full-timers abound all over the state now thanks to the tax laws. A few of my very-bleeding-heart liberal friends moved here and when I asked why, they said, “You still have police.” … …. ooooh-kay. Interesting country we have here.

The weather here IS great. And great for plants. Well, most plants. Gonna take some work and tears to get vine-grown things like watermelon, cantaloupe, cucumbers and tomatoes. So many obstacles. But everything else grows here. I have a hot pepper plant that’s been going for four years. The trick is knowing what will grow in the ground (not as much as you’d hope) and what will have to stay in a pot. Sand here is venomous because of the almost invisible nematodes. They eat the roots of some things and couldn’t care less about others. Hence the dilemma of potting vs planting.

But at the end of the day (o how I hate that phrase) it’s the sunsets. Just absolute killer sunsets almost every night of the year with slight variations of colors for the seasons.

As for Floridans, well, they’re a different breed. Breeds. There’s ALL kinds of Floridians like there’s all kind of Florida. Except mountains. None of those. Floridians can make a mountain out of a mole hill but nope, no mountains here. I’ll save ‘the neighbors’ for another day.